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Assi ghat at sunrise

Well, I'm done. I'm finally home back in the United States after 38 hours of traveling! It's weird to be back here, and even weirder to be experiencing this feeling alone. Last time I had the support of the entire group, another 15 students who knew exactly how I was feeling coming back to the US. The reverse culture shock is an interesting concept. I'm not "shocked" by much, or intensely bothered by the materialism, it's just weird to not be in India anymore. A place I've called home for so long is no longer my home, and I left with a wonder of when or if I'd ever be back there.

I sat with Jeremy on the roof of our hotel after watching the sunrise on our last morning in Varanasi. He asked me what I would change if I could go back and do the summer over again, if I had any regrets. I sat silent, thinking for a few minutes and reflecting on my summer. I had wanted to go to the mountains, and I did. I wanted to make it to Varanasi, and I did. I wanted to make a difference at the school, and I hope I did. I wanted to truly immerse myself in the village and attempt to live "village India" like a true villager, and I did my best. I wanted to eat as many of those juicy Indian mangoes as I could, and I certainly devoured a lot of them. I wanted to meet people, make new relationships and connections while still fostering the ones I had from last time. Having the opportunity to travel after my internship allowed this. I had no real regrets. Maybe I wished I had more time to take a Hindi course, but there aren't enough days in the summer for that. And sure, while I wish I could travel the entire country and see every city, I had to be realistic. I told him I was quite happy with how this summer went, I couldn't be more pleased and thankful for the opportunity to have this experience. Not many students my age can say they've have abroad experiences like this, twice. Even if that's the last time I'll be in India for twenty years, words can't express how thankful I am to have been able to do this.

While I know I'll adjust to being back here in the US and my constant thoughts of India every second will fade, the memories I have and the lessons I learned will always be with me. I have a newfound sense of independence and confidence and a desire to simply learn and explore. I came back with an entire duffel bag full of books (no, I'm not kidding, I had to explain to airport security that I'm not a distributor, just a nerd!) and I can't wait to keep learning about my second home: its challenges, future, people and culture. No matter how long it is until I return to India, I know my passion for Her will never die. While I'm sad its over, I am so thankful for this opportunity.