Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Home


The main ghat
Assi ghat at sunrise


Well, I'm done. I'm finally home back in the United States after 38 hours of traveling! It's weird to be back here, and even weirder to be experiencing this feeling alone. Last time I had the support of the entire group, another 15 students who knew exactly how I was feeling coming back to the US. The reverse culture shock is an interesting concept. I'm not "shocked" by much, or intensely bothered by the materialism, it's just weird to not be in India anymore. A place I've called home for so long is no longer my home, and I left with a wonder of when or if I'd ever be back there.

I sat with Jeremy on the roof of our hotel after watching the sunrise on our last morning in Varanasi. He asked me what I would change if I could go back and do the summer over again, if I had any regrets. I sat silent, thinking for a few minutes and reflecting on my summer. I had wanted to go to the mountains, and I did. I wanted to make it to Varanasi, and I did. I wanted to make a difference at the school, and I hope I did. I wanted to truly immerse myself in the village and attempt to live "village India" like a true villager, and I did my best. I wanted to eat as many of those juicy Indian mangoes as I could, and I certainly devoured a lot of them. I wanted to meet people, make new relationships and connections while still fostering the ones I had from last time. Having the opportunity to travel after my internship allowed this. I had no real regrets. Maybe I wished I had more time to take a Hindi course, but there aren't enough days in the summer for that. And sure, while I wish I could travel the entire country and see every city, I had to be realistic. I told him I was quite happy with how this summer went, I couldn't be more pleased and thankful for the opportunity to have this experience. Not many students my age can say they've have abroad experiences like this, twice. Even if that's the last time I'll be in India for twenty years, words can't express how thankful I am to have been able to do this.

While I know I'll adjust to being back here in the US and my constant thoughts of India every second will fade, the memories I have and the lessons I learned will always be with me. I have a newfound sense of independence and confidence and a desire to simply learn and explore. I came back with an entire duffel bag full of books (no, I'm not kidding, I had to explain to airport security that I'm not a distributor, just a nerd!) and I can't wait to keep learning about my second home: its challenges, future, people and culture. No matter how long it is until I return to India, I know my passion for Her will never die. While I'm sad its over, I am so thankful for this opportunity.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

It's true what they say about every Indian state seemingly being its own country. I landed in Tamil Nadu and encountered yet another language, another traditional dance, another cuisine, and another culture vastly different from the Rajasthani and Keralan cultures I had previously been exposed to this trip. Tamil Nadu is the richest of all the Indian states, and the most independent. I noticed both of these things immediately. The roads are impeccable; perfectly paved and clean, with murals depicting traditional Tamil culture on the walls surrounding the streets. Hindi is strictly rejected; in fact, when I accidentally spoke it to someone I was given a dirty look and ignored until I spoke in English, which they understood and spoke quite well. English and Tamil are taught in schools, but the national language of Hindi is not. I visited a temple, and for the first time in South India I was allowed inside; however being non-Hindu, was still prohibited from entering the sanctum sanctorum, the inner-most part of the temple where the deity lies. The idols looked much different here, almost character-like and were carved with intricate designs. I realized I missed being in temples like this, as we frequented them often last semester. It was a heartening feeling. We visited the tomb of St. Thomas after that, and were surprised to see (when we could finally make our way to the altar after mass ended and the two-hundred people evacuated) a large statue of Jesus at the front of the church standing on a lotus flower and surrounded by peacocks- traditional Hindu icons. The blend of religions, one woman told us, used to be quite inspiring; however, with recent years the acceptance of other religions has dwindled all over the country.


I am in Varanasi now, in the state of Uttar Pradesh towards the North-east of the country. Varanasi is the holiest city and many Hindus come here to die so their ashes can be spread in the Ganga. We visited here last year and it was by far my favorite city. There's something about the river and the atmosphere of the entire city that intrigues me. For some reason, I feel a connection to this city and knew I needed to return here before I went home again. The water level of the river is much higher than it was last time we were here, so high that it prevents us from walking along the ghats like we used to. I worked with an NGO, the Sankat Mochan Foundation, last time we were here. They are located right on the banks of the river (like our guesthouse) and they work to inform the public of the polluting practices on the Ganga and strive to implement environmentally-friendly technologies to divert and treat the wastewater that flows freely into the holy river. They bring school-children on boats to the polluted areas to show them what is happening, hoping to educate the young so polluting practices (like defecating, washing and littering) don't continue in later years. I will be working with them again during the six days we are here, as well as continuing my daily practice from last time of going to the ghats every morning at 5am (when they are the busiest) to participate in the worship and bathe in the river with the pilgrims. It seems to be the best way for me to really get a grip on what is happening during the worship and what the opinions and beliefs of the people are in terms of the horrendously polluted river, but the immensely holy goddess that lies within. It is interesting to note that Varanasi, being the holiest city, is also the dirtiest I have ever been in. Cows roam the narrow streets, leaving their droppings everywhere and creating traffic jams for miles. Garbage litters the roadsides and gutters making a border for anyone wishing to cross, and the flies, oh the flies. They are everywhere, relentless in landing anywhere they possibly can, and they never go away. I have never seen more flies in any place or city in my entire life. It's as if there is as much dirt as there are flies. I have always experienced India through my nose, the strongest of my senses. The occasional whiff of garbage is common to the other places I have been, but the constant lingering of the scents of stale food and excrement, along with the pollution in the air and the wafting of incense from shops creates an interesting mix. But, for some reason I love it here; I feel like it's the “real India,” far from the more Western cities of Mumbai and Delhi. So, I have six days left here before heading back to the states and plan to make the best of them, as this is the city I feel most at home in.